I'm about a month late with this post I guess, but things have been a bit hectic. And just to warn, this one may be a little emotional and lengthy and honest. So if you want, you can just scan through the pictures!
I won't lie...it has been pretty difficult for me to adjust to having a new baby! I absolutely love it and him, but I honestly didn't think it would be this hard. I've been ridiculously emotional about things. I don't feel depressed at all thank goodness, but more overwhelmed I guess. Mostly it's the lack of sleep I think, but recovering from the whole process has been one of the hardest things I've had to do as well. Most people must be much tougher than me.lol. I still can't believe it's all over. It was crazy and amazing at the same time and looking back at some of these hospital pictures makes me cry.
THE BEGINNING
So I went into the hospital on September 23 at 4pm to get just a routine NST test and some bloodwork done to determine if I would need to be induced a little early. The doctor had been watching my protein levels closely to make sure I didn't become preeclamptic. But up to this point, everything had been looking fine. I really didn't think anything would come of this test that day. Boy was I mistaken! The nurse walked into the room with the results and informed us that I was being admitted and induced right away.(Luckily I had Nick with me just in case) I was utterly unprepared. For one, I hadn't eaten anything since a bowl of cereal at breakfast and I was starving! Also, I hadn't brought any of my pre-packed bags with me and they wouldn't let me go home. I was not about to let Nick leave me and thankfully he had no intention of doing so:) We had my amazing sister, Katie, bring our things from home. Honestly Katie has been freaking awesome throughout my whole pregnancy. I would have been miserable if it weren't for her. She was always there for whatever I needed. Love you so much KK!!!!
Anyways, everything seemed very surreal from that point on. By about 6:30pm, After getting a room, robe, and IV, it was slow going. I was already dilated to a 3 and about 80% effaced when I was admitted, but that didnt seem to make things go faster. They started the Pitocin drip pretty low so contractions didn't start right away. Since I was so hungry, I took advantage of all the things they offered--popcicles, jello, ice chips, etc. Also a funny sidenote, I had to pee sooo much when they were filling me with fluids and I couldn't hold it! Katie and Nick had the special duty of helping me unhook and carry all the 80 wires and tubes with me to the bathroom several times. Poor Katie I'm sure got flashed a few times thanks to the lovely hospital gowns;)
The doctor (who was so awesome and I LOVE) came in around 7:30 pm and broke my water. Gross. Thankfully it wasn't painful, but yuck. That is all. A little later, and after turning up the pitocin drip quite a bit, I was in mucho paino. Even after talking to several moms and taking the birthing class, I was not prepared for that pain. Nick was great at being there and supporting me...even though the movie "Sahara" was on our tv and he is in love with Matthew McConahey;)FYI: I'll never be able to watch that movie without flashbacks now.ha.
LABOR
At about 9pm they checked me and I had dilated to a 5! I thought I was doing so well and working nicely through my contractions, but felt I should be more dilated than that. They asked if I would want an epidural soon and I kinda shrugged it off thinking, "Ya this is pretty painful but I can hold off longer." So they sent the anesthesiologist home. Big mistake on my part. A few minutes later, I guess they had turned up the Pitocin or something because my contractions became HORRIBLE. And that was bad enough, but to add to it, I wasn't getting a break between them. My pain would lessen, but not stop and I was having a really tough time breathing through them. The nurse that had been monitoring me from outside came in and said "wow, you're contracting quite a bit,huh? I guess we had that up a little too high..." Ya, you think? I couldn't imagine staying in this much pain and more for the rest of my labor, so I finally asked for the epidural at about 9:50pm. (I was watching the clock closely to help breathe through contractions) I was too tired and not getting any relief from the pain. Sadly, the guy had gone home, so they called him and it seemed FOREVER until he showed up. In reality he got there at about 10:30pm, but I was sure I was dying by then. When he got to my room, I was vigorously throwing up anything and everything I had eaten. I was crying and contracting and puking and moaning and just overall in pretty bad shape. It was probably good that I was so miserable so I didn't dread the epidural so much though. It was heaven sent and barely hurt whatsoever! That was a huge relief to me since I had been sooo scared to get one.
PROGRESSION?
I was feelin pretty great after that. I may have even dozed off a little bit. Around midnight they came and checked me again and I was sadly still at a 5. Baby was showing signs of distress, but not real bad. They rolled me on my side and gave me oxygen and that seemed to help a little. But as time went on, Kohen dropped further into the birth canal and his heart rate dropped along with it. His heart rate would drop with contactions and not come back up. Dr. Allen kept coming in and checking me and puttin things up there...a scalp monitor thing to keep track of his heart rate, a thing to measure contractions, and he tried to turn the baby b/c he was facing up instead of down. I could tell he and the nurses were getting pretty worried even though they were trying to act calm. They had started making preperations just in case I had to have surgery. Dr. Allen had mentioned that we may have to, but didn't sound like it was for sure at all. I told him that Kohen and I could do it. Afterall, by then I was 100% effaced and dilated to a 7! So close!! But I was getting scared. Nurses kept coming in and out and Dr. Allen just stayed in the room and we were all silent listening to the slowing beeps that represented Kohen's heart rate. They would slow down so much sometimes that Dr allen would go up there and touch kohen's head to stimulate him and the heart rate would go up for a minute. Finally he said that we really needed to get him out. He was so nice and compassionate though. He had tried everything and kept apologizing and knew that I really didn't want to have a C section, but said baby wasn't tolerating these last stages of labor well and just really needed to be taken out.
THE DELIVERY
After that, things sped up so fast everything was a blur almost. Tons of people were in my room hooking me up and unhooking me and shoving medicine down my throat. I just remember shaking, crying and stopping to look at Nick standing in the corner with a robe and booties in his hands staring down at me with this shocked, lost, scared look on his face. I had never seen him like that before. So serious and scared and worried for the both of us. It just made me cry harder as they wheeled me out of the room toward the O.R. all by myself. I can't even express how scared I was. I've never had surgery or even been in the hospital for anything before and my sweet baby was in trouble and everyone was rushing and not talking to me and Nick was gone and I just wasn't prepared to deal with it all. After they put the sheet up so I couldn't see and strapped my arms out to both sides, Dr. allen started poking my stomach asking if i could feel it still. I could. But the anesthesiologist said its ok if i could feel it as long as it's not a sharp pain. It wasn't, but I was still worried b/c I thought I wasn't supposed to feel anything when they start to cut!! And if i could feel them poke me, then surely I'd feel a knife cut me open! So I was just hysterical and shaking uncontrollably when they said, "Well, we are just gonna get started." So they did. Nick finally got there and I felt Dr Allen cut into me but it wasn't super painful so I'm sure the anesthetic was fine. I was still worried though that I could feel it at all. When I felt a rush of warm liquid spill all up my back I really freaked and started hyperventillating knowing it was blood. I felt a ton of pressure and yanking and pulling and they had to reach way down into the birth canal to dig him out since he had dropped so much. It really hurt actually. It turned out that the cord was wrapped around his neck and arm causing his heart rate to drop the further he descended into the birth canal. I'm not sure if I ever really calmed down, but the whole thing from about the time they rolled me into the OR took about ten minutes.
NEW BABY
At 2:56AM on Sept. 24th I heard my precious little boy cry for the first time and everything that had happened to that point was water under the bridge. Everything was Ok and I was crying for a completely different reason. He was alive and out safe and healthy and had the cutest cry I had ever heard. It seemed forever until they brought him over all bundled up to show me and let me kiss his tiny nose and pink cheeks. I couldn't believe how much I loved him already. It was and is honestly one of the purest, sweetest, emotional, and even empowering moments of my entire life. I had done it. 9 pregnant months, 8 hours of labor, and a c section. It was such a hard, long, scary, amazing and sometimes awful journey. But I had done it and had a perfect adorable loveable baby boy:)
In the meantime, Nick had almost fainted and had to drink some juice and put his head between his legs.(Which he told me later had been a bad idea since when he looked down at the floor he saw my blood all over it. haha. )Gotta love him. Poor guy.
AFTER DELIVERY
Dr. Allen stitched me all up which took about a half hour or so. I was so anxious to go see my boy and hold him. But they had to roll me to recovery and said they weren't allowed to bring me my baby while I was in there. An hour or so later though, in rolls little Kohen! The nurses were so sweet and knew how much I needed him so they brought him to me anyway!! I couldn' t believe how perfect he was! And how happy I was! The whole next day I probably got about 3 hours of sleep and was more exhausted than I can remember being ever. But I had my baby and we were both healthy. I couldn't have asked for more! 4 days later we went home and my mom flew in to help out. Recovery from the surgery has been slow and painful but is getting soooo much better. Feeling more like normal everyday. And more good news is that I've lost 30 of the 40lbs I gained during pregnancy! Woo hoo! haha. Hopefully soon Kohen will sleep better at night and my emotions will return to normal. But we are all doing wonderful and Nick has adjusted quickly and awesomely. He is a HUGE help and loves his little boy more than anything. Kohen is the perfect addition to our family and has definitely brought Nick and I closer together:) We are just all so dang HAPPY!!
Our first family picture. Kohen's Birthday!
Grandma lovin up on Kohen.
Kohen's first bath at home:)
Just Snoozin'...
